So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
