He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
