afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
