dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize