god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
