I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
