yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
