just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
