oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
