Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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