so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
