I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
