Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
