you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The Olympian is in my bed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
