so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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