Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
