last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
