we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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