My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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