I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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