'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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