he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
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I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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