Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
