I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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