I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
