i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
