I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
