Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
