Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
