Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
