Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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