Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
how drunk are you?
Several
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
