I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
