I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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