I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
