she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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