Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
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I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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