White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
