How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
