Please, let me fuck your mom
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
