Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm at about main and main street
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
