I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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