That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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