So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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