We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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