I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.