i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.