So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly