i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.