You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
