did you get engaged???
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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