all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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