dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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