there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
