glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
