im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am naked and annoyed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
