we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
