btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
