We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
