Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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