We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
