dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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