spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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