don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Randomize
