she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
