I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
