didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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