we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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